I’m a 52 year old white woman who grew up mainly in London. I started going to local under 18’s discos at around 14 and fell in love with black music and went on to become a club promoter before crossing over into other areas of music including live and management. I married my gorgeous black British hubby in 2010 after 4 years together (although we actually met when I was 19!). After various trials and tribulations, we adopted our mixed-race daughter, who came to live with us at 22months, on 28th May 2013.
Adopting a child is a lot. Even in the very best cases, you are taking on a child who will already have experienced (whether remembered or not) huge loss and trauma. Read ‘The Primal Wound’ to understand how just being separated from the person who carried you in the womb, impacts a baby.
This is our story; how we navigate this unknown terrain to allow our daughter to process her feelings and grow into such a compassionate, emotionally intelligent, wise individual that people frequently comment on it. I am starting in the present (Angel is 9) and will share as things unfold but also plan to go back and fill in some of what has been before.
It's BIG; big feelings, big learning curves, big love and it’s the most difficult and rewarding thing I’ve ever done. There’s no gloss here and I will, for the most part, be talking about the difficulties as these are the times I find it most therapeutic to write. It’s also what I think will be most helpful for other parents of adopted kids, or parents in general, grappling with how to manage big feelings.
Someone wise once said ‘You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf’
I’m looking forward to sharing our journey (-:
PS. All names have been changed to protect our child's privacy.
PPS. I’d love to hear if you find the blog helpful.