So, been thinking for a while about sharing our story of adoption in the hope that it might help other families and because it is such an incredible journey, it feels somehow important to document. Maybe one day it will also be important for our daughter who shall remain anonymous as this is her story too and she may not want to share it. I’ll call her Angel as we called her our ‘angel child’ for the first six months of her time with us, knowing full well that as soon as she felt safe enough, a more fully rounded two-year old would emerge. She was also referred to as an ‘angel child’ by her birth mum and dad who had lost a previous pregnancy and so were very grateful when they fell pregnant with her. Angel is 9 and will be 10 in July. Right now we are what I call ‘in the cut’. We have just come out of our longest spell of equilibrium (about 3 months) and I felt a new baseline of her self-worth had been reached. It probably has but when the wound opens up, it’s incredible how deep it g
It’s the last weekend of half term and anxiety about going back to school is kicking in. Angel declares she’s not going in on Monday. I murmur, ‘I can hear you really don’t want to go in. I know it’s always hard going back after half term’. Come Monday morning, she is up and dressed at 6.30am. All is well at breakfast and I have agreed to take her to school instead of Daddy as a treat. Just before we are about to leave she throws herself face down on her bed. I know what this means. It’s going to be a long drawn out protracted affair, after which I may or may not get her into school. I don’t feel I have the patience or resources to do this today. I try a different approach. Me - ‘Ok I can see you don’t want to go in and I’m not going to make you go in if you don’t want to but this is the only day that I have for me as the rest of the week I’m working or with you. So you can stay home but I am going for my run, I’m going to do some writing and sort out some things that I need to sort