So, been thinking for a while about sharing our story of adoption in the hope that it might help other families and because it is such an incredible journey, it feels somehow important to document. Maybe one day it will also be important for our daughter who shall remain anonymous as this is her story too and she may not want to share it. I’ll call her Angel as we called her our ‘angel child’ for the first six months of her time with us, knowing full well that as soon as she felt safe enough, a more fully rounded two-year old would emerge. She was also referred to as an ‘angel child’ by her birth mum and dad who had lost a previous pregnancy and so were very grateful when they fell pregnant with her. Angel is 9 and will be 10 in July. Right now we are what I call ‘in the cut’. We have just come out of our longest spell of equilibrium (about 3 months) and I felt a new baseline of her self-worth had been reached. It probably has but when the wound opens up, it’s incredible how deep ...
The thing about new beginnings is that you don’t always know you’re at one until you’ve already begun. You don’t recognize the exact moment the ground shifts, only that one day you find yourself standing somewhere different, looking back at where you were. I could tell you about the school meeting where I sat, my hands clenched in my lap, willing myself not to cry. About the frustration of teachers who couldn’t remember something as simple as not asking Angel direct questions, about broken promises, unanswered emails, the trying to remain polite, Sorry I know how busy you are….’, when I’m tearing my hair out because Angel is melting down. About the decision to pull Angel from school two days a week to keep her from drowning, and how that made her life manageable again. I could tell you about applying for an EHCP (educational healthcare plan), despite the school’s insistence that we didn’t stand a chance, and how exhausting it was to get the required documents from the school, pol...